Siddity in the City

1. Fruitcake topped with soft boiled eggs, with side of fried Spam, is the official breakfast of Christmas.

2. No matter what you tell your mom, she will buy you three times the number of presents you ask for, because you’re still her little girl.

3. You will send at least one eGiftcertificate to the wrong email address.

4. Shiny new digital cameras will will transform your insane teenage brother into an honorary and qualified member of the stalkerazzi who lies in wait on the kitchen floor in the dark to take the most unflattering photos humanly possible.

5. TV sucks on Christmas Day.

6. All moms love Baileys.

7. You can correct a “dry” family gathering by spiking the Martinelli’s sparkling cider with Smirnoff Vanilla Twist. It’s delicious.

8. Meatloaf sandwiches are totally the new new Christmas dinner.

9. You will run out of bizarre “facts” before you get to a nice round number like 10.